Go Gitmo, and leave the cooking to us

Club Gitmo

Enjoy fantastic meals a couple of times/week, including, but not limited to:
Oven Fried Chicken Platter

• broccoli
• peas
• mushrooms
• rice
• pita bread
• fruit of day 1
• fruit of day 2

Lemon Fish Platter (OBL Bodyguard's twice-weekly joy)

• rice
• broccoli
• carrots
• bread
• fruit of day 1
• fruit of day 2

Other lovable items enjoyed by "the killers":

• Werewithal to conduct religious services
• Q'uran (Thousands of copies available, touched only by gloved American hands)
  
• Library (13 different languages) of Q'uran available
• Prayer Call 5 times/day (including signs pointing to Mecca, and rugs purchased for them by the American taxpayer)

All this, and only a few instances of "illegal touching" ever reported ¹!

You'll never eat better, be treated better, or be more comfortable in your life! Unless you think chicken three times a week is torture ²!

¹ Which is to say that we have admitted it was reported and have since taken the token action of demoting one officer. We understand that there are hundreds of reported abuses, but we do not recognize those as they have been reported by former detainees (and thus by killers). Please do not attempt to point out the fact that we would not release those we found to be killers, and therefore that these abuses are reported by innocent people wrongly detained. We don't agree with the premise of this argument and besides, it is old news.
² Please note that your shipment overseas to any one of a number of faceless, nameless, unrecognized prisons in a country that condones and practices torture, dismemberment, disfigurement and the occasional accidental murder is plausible and likely despite and/or in spite of any defense you may attempt to present (which will be ignored due to your being an enemy combatant as we define it, thus rendering you unrecognized as a POW under the Geneva Convention as we interpret it).

mcolley
I'm not liberal, I'm just paying attention